Alone

'Wake up, you're going to be late for work!” Snooze alarm for 5 more minutes.

“Seriously, wake up!” snooze again, because who cares if you're late.

“Get up!” another 5 minutes wont hurt.

“It's 7:30 and you need to leave in ten minutes.” I guess I should get up now.

I have that conversation with myself every morning Monday through Friday. Why you ask? Well its because I go to a job I am no longer happy at. I work with people who wouldn't even know I was missing if I never showed up to work again.

I drag myself out of bed and look myself up and down in the mirror. “Say one nice thing about your self.” Well you're alive. Does that count as a nice thing to say? I can't think of a nice thing to say, compliment myself? Get real!

Every time someone says that I am so pretty, I look in a mirror. Why am I not able to see what they see? Why do the guys I like not see what they see? Can they truly see something everyone else isn't able to see? They should get their eyes checked.

Faking my way through life so nobody can see that I am truly unhappy. My head hangs low, eyes looking at the ground. I don't let anyone close, and once they get too close I push them away. Nobody is allowed to know I hurt. That my smile isn't real. That I pray to God to end my life, because I can't do it myself.